Please leave your taboos at censored Facebook, or the search engine that helped your arrive here.
This blog is for grown ass people, advanced minds, and in no way meant to hurt or offend anyone. If you are too sensitive to read about the very topic that brought you into this world, please go to another post I have written instead – I suggest this one to start.
Sex, is the most valuable and most healing personal expression of pleasure available to any human being. Sex is underused, undervalued, mis-understood, and sold to you as if it was something you could buy.
I am not of the opinion that the raging pornographic world offering 24 hours per day free or purchased, filmed and photographed sex is exactly a bad thing. I think it’s a normal thing, that people are in such need of sprawling their legs wide open to the entire world, and you are watching it. (be honest – you have, you do, and why not?) I think it’s normal that the internet is plastered with sex, that advertising is plastered with sex, that sex is forbidden and censored – because sex has been pushed to the world of shadows, and shame, and cultural standards as a subject of morality, religion, or legal matter.
Sex is not moral, religious, or legal – sex is and should be a sacred gateway to access pleasure for every individual alive and heal the body from within. There is distortion in sex in our world, and it appears to us very plainly in our collective conscious, or as we refer to the collective in my house, the internet :). You want to see what’s wrong, turn on your computer. You want to see what’s right, turn on your computer. You want to challenge your ideas, turn on the computer. You can’t deal with teaching your kids about sex, just wait till they turn on the computer.
I remember sex education in school. Do you? Do you remember how afraid you became? For me, as a teenager – my inner sense of sex was total terror! Too early pregnancies, disease, rape, social annihilation.
One of the most painful periods I can remember about social whipping for my own budding sexuality and beauty is the following true story – to this day, I am still rebuilding myself from that shame. I am not asking for pity, I am asking for room to tell one of my stories:
I modeled in fashion, and started an acting career at 11 years old, something that I loved to do. I loved to feel as a feminine, soft, beautiful, loved, goddess. Not better than anyone, but within my own right and pleasure.
My body looked exactly like it does today, I had my first period very early 8, or 9, and wualla I grew up right along my menstrations, hormones and physical changes. Several years later, a 9th grader – I guess I was 14-15 my career picked up, my confidence too, my love for my body too, until a picture began to circulate around school behind my back. It was going on for days about a week I believe, and I became the subject of a very painful joke.
This joke connected, it seemed, every clique to have a common enemy – me. I was pointed at, talked about, looked at, judged, and made to feel separate from everyone else. The image, after an intense search with the help of my best friend and the principal’s office was finally collected and taped back together so that I could see what all the fuss was about. The image was cut from a porn magazine. A naked blonde girl, sat upright in full light, with her fingers opening her pussy. The woman in the photo was said to be me and my so-called modeling career.
As I write about it, the familiar sensations return to me, constriction of my pelvis, deep shame of my appearance, fear of the public, and a self whipping for having attracted this attention – I am bad, dirty, gross, wrong. My heart is hit, and my 6th chakra goes blurry and confused. As a part of other sexual woundings that I am not yet ready to openly write, this ouch, contributed to my hospitalisation and years of incredibly painful sex. Unraveling this wounding, has birthed many, many, many gifts. So, to be clear I am no longer angry, sad, or irritated by what happened.
I am grateful.
Public shame, has been a part of my life, my differences were not entirely welcomed as a youth, and part of the reason I write to you, the public, is my need to heal and take my place.
My fear of the public, and the power I gave the public over me, is a wounding I am healing.
When I moved to Paris I was about 18, and I met a young woman, just older than me, who would describe people who were grumpy or generally unpleasant to be around as “Badly Fucked”. I could never understand what exactly she meant at that age. Though it made me blush and look down every time. She was a very free and beautiful woman, who suffered in other areas, but did not suffer in her desire to receive sexual pleasure. It took years of self – exploration, self – understanding, therapy, regression, medicine, surgery, and rivers of tears to tear down taboos of my own, before I could enter the potential of sexual exchange and it’s capacity for personal evolution, healing, creative potential and spiritual growth.
Everything right in sex and wrong in sex can be healed through having conscious sex. Admitting our ignorance, admitting our longing to learn about sex, to have better sex, to surge through bigger and better orgasms, multiple orgasms, and pleasure of the physical body is your birth right. You do not have to do anything, other than be alive, to deserve a better sex life. It is your birth right to have pleasure, and it is your responsiblity personally to heal what stands in the way of the fullness of your pleasure.
What is important for my healing, and my story was this – How to allow my own body, my temple, and my pleasure to be mine?
In recent popular culture, the book series, 50 Shades of Grey, opened all of us – taboo ridden, uptight, masculine – females, to a world of unraveled orgasms. The Animus empowered, leaves the Anima to venture through uncharted territory. We women, are looking at what the pleasure/pain barrier really holds for us, as we drift through and blur the lines, and revel in our divine feminine. I am not saying these fictional books are to become the bible of sex, but let’s say it’s a work of our times, and very worthy of read.
What is ‘right’ in our sex lives, can more and more unravel into what feels good, and pleasure can be redefined by the individuals needs, likes, and wants. The social constructs of a healthy sex life, are gladly being demolished, so that me, as an individual can attend to the potential within my sexual force without shame, or fear of being called a charlatan, or a slut, or whatever other useless words have been used.
Furthermore, the need for women and men across the world to expose their own private, intimate worlds on the internet is now seen by me as something just fine. It just is. I can watch, I can participate, I can turn it off. I am in charge of what I let in to my field, and body. I am in charge of finding what turns me on, and cultivating it. I am in charge of dealing with what turns me off, and accepting it’s presence, healing the wounding in me.
Nothing need be denied, nothing need be blamed, or judged, no one need be hurt in the process.
You and me, have a right to discover, and make mistakes in the awakening of our sexual potential. We can learn from each other, and grow together now more than ever in our previously shamed sexual souls.
In terms of energy, we are concerned with chakras 1 and 2 as the act is concerned, and in MOST of us, the connection between 4 and 2 are in need of healing. Self – Love allowed to flow through to our sexual centers becomes self acceptance which alerts the inner goddess / god to, cum out. 🙂
Further than this is the combination of chakras 2, 4, and 6 – Ecstasy. Take the pill, ecstasy, and you get 2, 4, 6 open and flowing. Open 2, 4, 6, yourself, again ecstasy. Open 2, 4, 6 together with your partner – you find exchanged ecstasy. Work with chakra 2 and 6 you enter fantasy, the discovery of what turns you on, plus playfulness and laughter. For days, you will find yourself healed of all ailments, calm and at ease.
Do as I am now able to do, open chakras 1 – 7, 8 – 15 and have sex with your partner – here we enter holy union. Sacred playgrounds, of a non-physical height, width and depth. The physical self, may dissolve it’s bounds, and be released into a it’s vibrational state of love and joy. The question then, is how much pleasure can I tolerate?
For me, I am insanely monogamous. I am neither proud of that, or ashamed of that. I don’t have an opinion as to what is right for others, but I can tell you that staying within a good partnership – an honest partnership – learning to talk and deal with sex is the cure to an endless list of ailments, including insecurity, pain, blockage, and shame. It’s not easy and it’s not supposed to be.
If there are affairs, and sex problems going on in your life or relationship – then I can encourage you that sex is the answer. Yes, it is important to go through all levels of your consciousness, psychological, spiritual, medical, but trust in your inner healing ability to revive your life with sexual force. Let sex guide you to what’s hurting, and allow for healing to come in.
What we are looking for, in awakening our sexual pleasure, is an OPEN energy field, opened through the self, and powered by the self as the center. When this is mastered, sex as an act with ‘the other’, gay, straight, bi, or whatever else moves into a sacred dance. Awakening ancient Kundalini energy, the coiled snake at the pelvis, awakening dormant confidence and passion to become one’s self, and awakens calm – zen like stability to the futile needs and obsessions that replace sexual fulfillment. (power, money, greed, hurt, insecurity, territory, and suffering in general)
Now, the colon – take the stick out please.
My god, what a drama the colon is for humanity. If you remove the dirt over your eyes, and see the colon as a place on the body like any else, it has needs, it has consciousness, and has a role in health for the individual. Energetically the colon holds two very important pscyho-spiritual aspects: Psycho-Spiritual Shadows or Blindspots, and Abundance. Abundance (in the second chakra at the back) is responsible for the quantity of pleasure flowing to you found also within the colon. The distortions which constrict the colon are psycho-spiritual shadows made of shame, self-hatred, and accumulated stress.
Think of the colon as a garage, basement, closet or drawer in your house that you have not really dealt with and let ‘shit’ pile up. Seriously, I am being serious. Your colon, must be clear, relaxed and at ease with pleasure for you to get the most out of your life and your attraction of abundance.
Especially, for men. Within the colon of a man you find the prostate. A literal wealth of inner pleasure, confidence and physical comfort. Taboos, aside, please. Homophobia aside please. Grow up, and learn about the colon, as a place of sexual pleasure. If you are with a man, are a man, or hope to live happily with a man, learn about it.
For more sex talk and specifics – I like this Brazilian beauty, her blog, her way, and her constant state of pleasure – check her out : www.mytinysecrets.com
If you wish to go into your sexual health with me, book a session. Please ask your questions and make your comments underneath, so we all can benefit! I love your private emails, but ….. your words will do so much more if we could all see them, and my answers in replying will give to others too.
Copyright Photography and Words Beva Sewell 2015